"Hey Tess -- are we allowed to flirt around here..??"First, let me say that I've noticed friction over this subject on various other boards. Today, I spotted a recent post about it on another adult gaming site and it spurred me to write this statement about the
tessmage.com policy, regarding flirting...
The official policy on flirting is: I don't give a shit. Go ahead and flirt. 
HOWEVER...I would prefer that all of you restrict any HEAVY flirting (ie: serious flirting that is laced with heavy sexual references) to specific topics that you create for the express purpose of that kind of chat. It's a fact that some members can feel uncomfortable, when they see a bunch of flirting happening in every thread on the board. That's not cool.
Think about this in terms of actual real-life social situations: there are some places where openly flirting is more acceptable (such as at a bar or a club) and there are other places where it is awkward (such as in a classroom or at a casual office party). I think our board should be setup exactly the same way as we would behave in real life: there's a time and a place for such things. Everyone should restrict that kind of stuff to appropriate threads that are set aside for juicy talk.
One reason that I shut down a bunch of topics several months ago was because of this very issue. We had a couple of members back then, who seemed to feel that it was perfectly okay to invade every single thread on the board with cybersex chat and other flirtatious stuff of that nature. This in turn made some other members feel uncomfortable and they ended up abandoning this board. I won't allow a repeat performance of that situation -- which is why I'm suggesting that we try to restrict ourselves, just as any mature and conscientious adults SHOULD behave.
NOTE: I am
not talking about harmlessly winking and making humorous passes at one another in normal posts. I'm talking about -seriously- trying to flirt with other members, or engage in any form of "cybering." I'm going to assume that most adults will know the difference between serious flirting -- or harmless "ice-breaker" comments that are just attempts to be cute and funny.
Keep in mind that
tessmage.com is primarily a gaming site aimed at mature adult players --
not a cybersex hangout. At the same time, I'm far from being a prude and I also think it's normal and healthy for adults to flirt with one another. I just need to stress that this is a gaming site -- not a dating service. If everyone keeps that in mind and if the "normal" topics continue to flourish, then I have no problems at all with flirting -- or anything else, within reason. It's all about BALANCE, people.
So, to sum all of this up:Q: Can we flirt with other members, Tessera..?
A: Yes, but only where it is appropriate and only if the other person is receptive to it.
Q: Where can we flirt, then..?
A: In topics that you create for that express purpose. They should also be located in the "
Off-Topic" category. Furthermore, the title of your thread should likewise make it clear that it's an "anything goes" thread, intended for adults who like to flirt and speak openly about anything and everything. That way, people who do not have any interest in that type of stuff can easily avoid those conversations -- which is better for you and better for them, all at the same time. If you set it up that way, then it's a win-win situation for everyone.
Q: Who can we flirt with..?
A: Anybody who joins your thread, unless they tell you to knock it off. My assumption is going to be that they knew, by the title of the thread, what they were getting into. But -- if someone drops hints that they want you to back off, then BACK OFF.
Q: How explicit can we be..?
A: I dunno... how explict would you be when talking to someone face-to-face, that you hardly know at all..? Use that as a ruile of thumb. I personally don't care, unless I see people spending ALL of their time in those threads and then, the rest of the board starts to languish. In that case, I'd have to pull the plug.
Enjoy the forums.
- Tessera -Administrator
Author
